Why is My Husband So Stingy?

I dated a few guys until I found the perfect one! When my husband and I met, I thought we were twins! He was funny, outgoing, on the ball and such a great guy. He was so cool and exciting! 

After we got married, it didn't take long to realize how different we were. I'm emotional, he's logical. I love spending while he is tight-fisted. I was amazing at relationships, so I was confused about why I was not as thrilled as I had dreamed I would be.  

I would ask him for something, but he would always say that we couldn't afford it. I would say, "You don't care about me; you are so stingy."  I had a little tune playing in my head: "He's so stingy, he's so mean, he doesn't care about me." It was my favorite song. I played it at all hours at maximum volume—it was painful.

I sang my song if he gave me a budget for a gift I wanted to buy for a friend who got engaged or had a baby. When he asked me to please check prices when I shopped for food, I blasted the song in my head. We had plenty of good times, but these pain points kept cropping up.

For years, I begged my husband for plastic disposable tablecloths to save me extra work from cleaning up after supper. He would tell me no, it's too expensive, and then I'd cry, get insulted, and tell him he doesn't care about me. I would usually respond with, "YOU ARE SO STINGY and don't care if I work hard"!!! I would blast my favorite "stingy" song and feel so sad.  

Then I discovered the book. I was addicted! The Empowered Wife so clearly described me as a wife!! I was blown away at the simplicity of the skills and started implementing them right away. It took effort. 

 I decided to sit down and have a respectful conversation about the paper goods. Instead of interrupting him and letting him know how stingy he was, I validated him and put myself in his shoes.  I realized that, of course, he loves and cares about me.  He was just being responsible with money. At the end of the conversation, I told him how I totally heard where he was coming from and that since he's so generous, I knew that if he could, he would. I then expressed a pure desire without expectations that I would love plastic disposable tablecloths.   

Focusing on him being stingy was creating that reality. I quickly switched tunes to a new, beautiful one. It went like this, "He's so generous. He's so nice. if he could, he would." I slowly started gathering evidence that my husband was really and truly generous. I had been so busy playing my "stingy" song that the " generous" tune was definitely being drowned out. I was amazed at how much evidence I was finding that he truly was "Mr. Generous." I could have proved it in a court of law with all my compelling evidence.  

I began letting him know how generous I thought he was every time the evidence was staring at me in the face.  Once I began implementing the skills, I became magnetic. All those old disagreements were totally a thing of the past. I now had clear, practical skills to implement. My marriage transformed quickly from just plain ok to just plain awesome!  

Nowadays, the stingy melody has completely faded. I'm constantly dancing to the 'Generous' tune and having a hard time even remembering the 'Stingy' song. He showers me with gifts and generosity and recently told me how much he loves spoiling me. 

Schedule a free consultation today to find out how you can start enjoying a peaceful and loving marriage.  Schedule a call here.