Letting Go of Perfection

Did you once fantasize about being the “perfect” wife? You know, the one who greets her husband with a smile, flawless makeup, delicious dinner, and a gleaming home?

Yeah, me too. And then… life happened!  And reality did NOT look like my dreamy expectations. 

In actuality, I bombarded my husband with complaints and demands as soon as he walked through the door. I would all but throw a wailing baby at him, yell at him to make his own supper, and complain that he was five minutes late. 

Um, no WONDER he came home five minutes late. I was a nightmare to come home to!

I have a sneaky suspicion that some of you may be able to relate. Most of us conjure up beautiful images in our minds of what married life will be like. Flowery scenes that exist wonderfully in our imaginations, featuring wives who are always geshikt, stunning, and cheerful. 

Kind of like this:

Exactly 10 minutes before your husband walks through the door, you touch up your makeup, brush out your wig, and swiftly tidy up the room. Supper simmers on the stove, and the table is set for two. Delicious smells waft through the kitchen while soft music plays. And, of course, your angelic children are blissfully sleeping. 

As the front door opens, you greet your husband with a bright smile. You ask him how his day was and serve him a piping hot, home-cooked meal. You’re the perfect wife. 

Sounds nice, right? Well, for most of us, this second scenario is closer to reality:

It’s 10 minutes before your husband walks through the door. There’s macaroni all over the floor, your kids are still jumping on the couch, and supper is nowhere near ready. You're wearing slippers, a hoodie, and a slinky skirt with questionable stains. Your makeup is half off, and you’re definitely not wearing a wig at this hour.

As the front door opens, you greet your husband with a large scowl. You tell him about how the kids drove you crazy, your boss yelled at you, and you didn’t have a blessed minute to put up supper. 

Does this sound uncomfortably familiar? Well, I have good news for you. Here’s a little secret — you don’t have to live the “expectation” to be the perfect wife. You don’t need to have a sparkling home and hot supper when your husband comes home. 

All you need is a smile. 😊

Easier said than done, right? Your frustration and exhaustion at the end of the day is valid! You’ve had a long, hard day. You took care of a million things and a million people and cleaned up a million times. 

Maybe you had an argument with a good friend. Maybe your presentation didn’t go as planned. Maybe you’re livid that your husband hasn’t changed the lightbulb yet. There’s any number of reasons why you absolutely do NOT feel like being pleasant, perky, or pretty, when your husband comes home. 

But here’s the thing — no man wants to come home to a grumpy wife. Your husband doesn’t want you to be perfect. He just wants a happy wife. When you muster up the superhuman strength to greet your husband with a smile, it makes all the difference to your marriage. 

Even if dinner isn’t ready, the place is flying, and the kids are cranky, when coming home to you is enjoyable, it'll be the highlight of his day. 

Oftentimes, reality isn’t as glamorous as our expectations — but there’s so much beauty in it. So, let go of the ideal and embrace the messiness of life. ‘Cuz as long as you have a smile, that’s all that counts.