It's All His Fault

I was overwhelmed, stressed, and unhappy, and blamed my husband. If I was frustrated or disappointed, it was his fault. I expected him to fulfill all my needs and fix any problems I had. 

I sat alone in my room, feeling depressed and anxious without understanding why. I resented my husband for not intuitively knowing how to make me feel better. I complained a lot without realizing how unattractive it was, and it didn't make me feel any better.

I felt powerless to improve my mood. I didn't recognize the hurt underlying my anger. If my husband came home an hour later than expected, as usual, I told him how disappointed I was rather than saying, "I missed you." Unfortunately, this didn't bring us closer to the emotional connection I craved.

I started searching for answers, and my sister recommended Laura Doyle's book, "The Empowered Wife.” For the first time, I saw a way to break free from my victim mentality. But, I had trouble implementing the skills successfully and consistently.

It wasn't until I got a Relationship Coach that I understood the skills better and successfully implemented them into my daily life and all of my relationships. I started taking responsibility for my emotions, including my happiness, disappointment, and frustration. I no longer viewed my husband as the problem or the solution. 

Today, when I'm hurt, I strive to get in touch with my feelings and share them vulnerably, instead of lashing out in anger. For instance, if my husband shows up an hour late, I say, "I missed you" which creates a connection instead of the distance I used to put between us with my criticism. 

I am no longer a victim—I have the power to show up as my best self, and the best part is that I have the relationship of my dreams with a man who only wants to make me happy.