I've Got the Power

I used to have scathing thoughts about how clueless my husband was.  I just stewed in resentment and criticism without even really thinking about or knowing what I wanted or bothering to tell him.  He should just know and understand me!  Unfortunately, my criticism never motivated him to improve. 

If you're anything like I used to be, you might not feel you have much power in your relationship. If only he would change, things would be great, right? 

When I started working with a coach, I learned that I have all the power to either infuse my marriage with joy and excitement or make it strained and distant - by choosing what to concentrate on.  I had no idea that I actually had an amazing amount of influence.

One way to wield that power is by affirming my beliefs, both positive and negative, by looking for and gathering evidence for them.  I might tell myself, "I'm always late," or "I will never lose weight," even if that's not what I truly want. But I will notice every time I rush in after the chuppah ended or beat myself up whenever the scale doesn’t register what I think it should.  

Whether I want more of something or not, what I focus on grows. So, when I focus on things I don't want, I end up with more of them.   On the other hand, when I shift my focus to the good, I draw in more of the things I desire. 

My thoughts about my husband, even though they may feel very real, actually stem from my perspective, which is something I have complete control over.  It can be incredibly difficult to notice and acknowledge the advantages of his laid-back nature or how his ability to remain calm in stressful situations benefits me. When I do, I see the gentle, thoughtful man I married, But it’s often much easier to get frustrated that he still hasn’t changed the light bulb or annoyed that he let himself be taken advantage of by a negligent vendor. 

I am powerless over my husband and his choices, but I can never forfeit my own power to create and manifest what I focus on. I will always get more of what I am looking for. It works out a lot better for me when I choose to focus on the good in him because then those good things just keep getting better and better.

You, too, have the power to create the reality you crave and rekindle the connection in your marriage.

Schedule a free consultation today to find out how you can reclaim your power and start enjoying a peaceful and loving marriage.  Schedule a call here.