Finding Your Self-Care Formula

When I first learned about self-care, I was all in. I could totally get my nails done once a week, go for coffee with friends, and take an exercise class. No problem! ‘Cuz that’s what self-care is, right? 

Like the good girl I am, I plunged into self-care headfirst. I filled my calendar with various cosmetic appointments, outings with friends, and shopping sprees. I religiously stuck to my self-care schedule and moved mountains so I’d never miss out on my “me time.” 

However, I quickly learned that the stereotypical self-care examples did nothing for me. I didn’t feel rejuvenated, uplifted, or ridiculously happy. I still felt exhausted, overwhelmed, and resentful. Where was the magic fix everyone had promised me?

Enter the Empowered Wife and the kind of self-care Laura Doyle talks about. Reading her book made me realize that self-care wasn’t just about pretty nails and massages. It wasn’t just about indulgence. It’s about filling yourself from within so that you’re positively bursting with happiness outward. 

Instead of following the self-care trends, I had to think about me, my interests, and what truly brings me joy. Turns out, I’m not into spa days, shopping, and too much social stimulation. I like to be alone, sipping a smoothie and reading a book. I like to hike up mountains or ride a bike. Sometimes by myself, and sometimes with a friend. I relish the sweet snuggles with my newborn baby and just being with him. 

I’m trying to say that if you truly want to feel nourished through self-care, you have to do what makes you happy. If that’s any of the “typical” self-care mentioned previously — go for it! And if it’s anything from walking in nature to taking dance lessons to chatting on the phone, that’s great too! The point is that it should bring you joy. And as Laura says, it should make you ridiculously happy. 

If you’re having difficulty pinpointing manageable, feasible, and energizing self-care for YOU, here’s a handy little guide I like to use. Focus on finding activities that fall into the following three areas:

• Mind
• Body
• Soul

When you hone in on these three categories, you’ll discover which self-care acts really resonate with you and fill you up. When I have all three, I am filled to the brim!

For example, if you thrive on mental stimulation, try a puzzle, podcast, or something that challenges your mind. Enjoying delicious food or drink, taking a bath, exercising, or napping are all activities that can bring you physical joy. Praying, meditating, or listening to an inspirational talk are great ways to nourish your soul. 

Say goodbye to a grumpy, overworked, and stressed-out wife! With the RIGHT self-care, you can become the woman of love, light, and laughter your husband married and will magnetize him to the irresistible you.